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#4578826 Jun 30, 2011 at 01:56 AM · Edited 6 years ago
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Timmyott and the Flaming chasm of Icy winds

Chapter One: The bludgeoner

Last we heard of young Timmyott he was dangling from the body of the Lord of Alterac manor. He struggled to pull himself out of the lifeless corpse he had just been used to impale. For those of you just joining us in the adventures of Timmyott, this was the moment he had vowed to follow the ways of the light and holy retribution. He pledged himself to help the weak and exact a righteous vengeance on those he deemed evil. Thus, the adventures of Timmyott began.

It is now many years later and young Timmyott has grown into a strong orc and even more powerful Paladin then people could have imagined. His demeanor grizzled from countless battles, the scars that covered his body a constant reminder that following the light had a heavy price. It was a price he paid with no second thoughts, he was an orc dedicated to his cause with an unparalleled zealotry. Soon though, his devotion would be tested as never before.

We join Timmyott and his companion Sumitra as they make their way towards the Tower of Eternal Heights where our heroes seek the guidance of the gnome wizard known as Xithas the bludgeoner. Ducking down into the entry way it was obvious that this tower was constructed by gnomes for gnomes. Timmyott had heard stories of the Tower of Eternal Heights and its never-ending stairway, nicknamed the will-breaker by the gnomes who had tried to climb it before, but had failed to make it to the top. Timmyott and Sumitra made their way to the first steps and looked at each other, they knew they couldn't stop, couldn't break, and wouldn't give up, this was a matter of great importance. The stairs were wide, almost as if they had been made for an entire legion to climb side-by-side, one could see the bottom of the stairs had seen much more wear then those near the ceiling of the first floor, one could only guess how many ceilings one would see venturing up to the top. With a long drawn breath Timmyott began the climb with Sumitra by his side.

After making way with a brisk pace our heroes had made it to the top of the first floor in around three minutes and braced them selves as they stepped through the dark opening which signaled the entrance to the second floor. As they passed through a booming voice overpowered them. "FINALLY, SOMEONE HAS TRAVESED TO THE PEAK OF THIS TOWER AND INTO MY DOMAIN!" Wait, ...what? Timmyott looked over to Sumitra with a confused look on his face. She stared blankly at him the responded to his unvoiced question, "Well, I mean, gnome architects right?"

Before them on a great chair carved into the wall of the tower sat a gnome with a stone gaze as if staring through them past the walls which encircled them. He was of normal stature for a gnome, a graying beard was the only thing that signaled the time he had spent in this plane of existence. Clad in a heavy armor that seemed as if it weighed as much as its owner, he grasped in his right had he held a great mace, the shaft extending nearly one and a half times his body length. Timmyott looked around and saw no one else before he spoke up, "Uh, we are on a great journey and have traveled far to seeking the Wizard known as Xithas the bludgeoner." The gnome sat still in silence for a moment before he responded with the same booming voice as before, "FOUND HIM YOU HAVE! WHAT DO YOU SEEK ME FOR YOUNG ORC." Timmyott was puzzled, surely this gnome was a warrior of some sort, he saw no robes nor wand in his possession. Timmyott spoke with a puzzled voice, "Er, the one we seek is known as one of the greatest wizard in the realm, are we to believe you are he?" Once again with the booming voice, "INDEED, SOME CALL ME THE BLUDGEONER, SOME CALL ME THE BIG MACE, AND STILL OTHERS KNOW ME AS FACE SMASHER! SPEAK WHAT YOU HAVE COME HERE FOR!"

Surely this could not be, a renowned wizard wearing plate and carrying a battle mace? Things of this nature were unheard of for Timmyott. "Should not a wizard such as yourself carry a wand and adorn himself in mystical robes?" Xithas was unfazed by Timmyotts questions and responded, "MANY WIZARDS HAVE COME TO CHALLENGED ME AND I HAVE..." Timmyott cut him off mid sentence and asked politely, "Could you stop yelling sir? We have no trouble hearing you as your voice carries through this tower well enough." Xithas sat pondering the question in silence. Seconds turned to minutes and minutes to hours while he looked quizzically at Timmyott as if peering into his soul judging him before he spoke again. After what seemed like an eternity Xithas responded, "NO!" Timmyott sighed, "Ok, that's fine, it's just loud I guess and I figured I would try and get you to quiet down a bit, please continue." "AS I WAS SAYING, MANY WIZARDS HAVE COME TO CHALLENGE ME FOR FAME AND RECOGNITION AS A GREATER WIZARD THAN I AND I HAVE SMASHED ALL THEIR FACES, AS SUCH I AM THE GREATEST MAGE THAT HAS EVER BEEN!"

At this point in time Sumitra turned to Timmyott and asked what they had both been thinking, "So, is this guy serious?" Timmyott decided to push the matter and question Xithas until the truth was found. "So, what your telling me is that wizards come to challenge you and you beat their faces in with that mace, and that makes you the greatest wizard?" "CORRECT, I THOUGHT OF YOU ORCS AS SIMPLE CREATURES, BUT IT SEEMS YOU CAN GRASP THINGS QUICKER THAN I HAD THOUGHT!" Timmyott took a moment to craft his next question carefully, "Great wizard, do you not use any spells to defeat your foes?" Xithas laughed at this question before responding, "HAHAHA, MAYBE I SPOKE TO SOON OF YOU INTELLIGENCE, OF COURSE I USE SPELLS AND MAGIC. MOST CHALLENGERS SUCCUM TO MY GREAT SPELL OF MACE TO FACE! ONE AFTER ANOTHER THEY FELL AS I BLUDGEONED THEM TO DEATH! FEW SURVIVED MY INITIAL CAST BUT THOSE WHO DID NAY HAD TIME TO CAST THEIR OWN MAGIC AS I CAST MY MAGICAL PUMMELING OF FIST TO FACE! WHAT GREATER MAGIC EXISTS THAN MY OWN?"


It all made sense now, especially the title of bludgeoner, Timmyott had never truly understood that title until today. Sumitra, being an accomplished mage in her own right could not stand anymore of this. She raised her staff and cast a binding spell upon Xithas before Timmyott could stop her. "WHAT WITCHCRAFT IS THIS THAT HOLDS ME! YOU... YOU ARE A WITCH! EVIL EVIL WITCH! I SHALL SHOW YOU TRUE MAGIC!" With a mighty roar Xithas broke free of Sumitra's' bind and charged forward, mace in hand, ready to deliver what was to be a great blow. The gnome was fast enough to where had Timmyott been a second slower with his blessing of protection Sumitra would have indeed been another of the bludgeoners victims. "Wait! Wait, we did not come here to fight you, we sought you out to join us on our journey to the Flaming chasm of Icy winds." Hopefully Timmyott was able to diffuse the situation with his words. Sumitra looked over Xithas once more before stating, "We have no use for this gnome, let's leave this place behind." "VERY WELL THEN, AT THE LADIES BEHEST I WILL JOIN YOU ON YOUR JOURNEY!" Sumitra looked exasperated, "I never asked you to join us!" Timmyott pulled Sumitra to the side, "He is a powerful warrior he could be of great use to us, if he just wants to be called a wizard, where's the harm in that?" Sumitra just turned away in a huff and began to walk back down the stairs towards the exit while mumbling "Shit, fuck, dammit, stupid gnome and his stupid mace". Timmyott let out one more sighed and looked over at Xithas, "Well then, shall we begin our journey?" Xithas just looked at him with a smug grin and climbed onto Timmy's back, "ONWARD MY YOUNG ORC APPRENTICE! TO GREATNESS WE VENTURE!" Well, I guess it could be worse Timmyott thought, he had no idea how right he was. Then there were three, Timmyott the orc paladin, Sumitra the human mage, and Xithas the gnome "Wizard".

Chapter Two: The cow says.

The journey to Mulgore had been a long one and our heroes decided to make camp in the lower plains near Bloodhoof village. There were guards stationed around the perimeter of the village. Lately security had been increased as tension built between the alliance and the horde. One of the guards approached the small encampment to survey it's visitors. Timmyott went out to meet him and the two spoke for a few minutes before returning. "What was that about?" Sumitra knew the presence of a gnome and human would not sit easy with the Tauren, but the guard seemed to not care much. Timmyott looked over to his companions and answered, "He was just wondering what our purpose here was, he said we have their protection as long as we are in Mulgore. Sleep now, we have are close to Thunderbluff now and need to be rested before we begin our search for this rumored druid." Sleep they did, our brave heroes had been on edge since they began their trek to Thunderbluff, and this respite from worry was welcomed.

They awoke to the sound of screams and collapsing tents. It was still night, but the land was ablaze as Bloodhoof village burned. "Everyone, get up! The village is under attack." Timmyott was already running towards the village as he yelled to his fellow travelers. Timmyott came across the guard that he had spoken to the night before, he was injured but still lived. "What happened here, who is attacking?" Timmyott spoke in a hurried tone, trying to get his answers as quickly as possible. "He came out of no where, we didn't have time to respond, the demons were everywhere." The taurens breathing was labored and slow. "Who, who did this, is it the, legion, the alliance, who?" "No, one of our own, a powerful warlock named Onihoof, he was the only tauren to master the dark arts, but it twisted him and he became consumed by his own power, he left many years ago, but for some reason has returned." Then, there was silence. Timmyott stood up believing the proud warrior had passed, when he looked around he was surprised to see Xithas and Sumitra still staring at the guard, unmoving. As he surveyed the village as it burned, he noticed that the flames were still, impossibly still. Then he heard a voice, burning with contempt.

"So here we have the brave and noble Timmyott, the light in the darkness, holy retribution and divine vengeance incarnate, but how many just died while he slept so close to their door steps?" Timmyott turned to see a tauren towering above him, with an army of demons behind him. "How could you do this to your own people?" Timmyott screamed as he readied his sword to engage this villain in battle. "No, now is not the time, consider this a greeting from someone pursuing the same goal on a different path." "Raaaaaaaaawr" Timmyott leapt forward with an arcing slash only to find himself sitting up in his own camp, Sumitra and Xithas staring at him as if he was insane. "A dream?" He surveyed the village which was untouched. "Come we must continue onward." He did not speak of the dream he had last night nor did he wish too.

Soon they could see Thunderbluff on the horizon, a silhouette towering high above the earth around it. "SOMEONE IS APPROACHING US FROM THE EAST!" Xithas spoke from his perch on Timmyott's shoulder. Indeed a Tauren was approaching them atop a mighty kodo. He stopped some distance away and dismounted his kodo and waited for the group to make their way to him.

As Timmyott approached the Tauren, Sumitra and Xithas stood in the distance straining to hear the words that were exchanged. Unfortunately they had forgotten to take into account the language barrier that became all too clear. "Moooo, moo mooo mooo moo. Moo mooo mooo moo moo moo? Mooooooo moo mo mooo moo. Moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo. Moo moo. Moo moo mooooo moo mooo mooooo. Moo moo moo? Moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo, moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo, moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo... moo moo." Timmyott first laughed the his look turned somber as he replied, "Moo moo mooo. Moo moo, moo moo moo... moo, moo mooo mooo mooo moo. Moo moo moo moo moo moo? Moo moo moo." The Tauren looked to the sky before he turned and looked over Sumitra and Xithas. He gave Timmyott a nod and beckoned them all to follow him.

"Shit, I forgot that Timmyott has been speaking common with us." Sumitra knew the many languages of the alliance but had never taken the time to learn the languages of her enemies, she still had much to learn. "DO NOT FRET WITCH, GNOMES ARE THE GREATEST OF ENGINEERS! I SHALL USE MY TAURHE TRANSLATOR TO DISCOVER WHAT THEY SPEAK OFF!" With a quick pull from his bag Xithas produced a seemingly complicated device. "LET US SEE NOW, HERE WE GO." As he pulled the cord on the translator, a metal arrow in the center of the machine began to spin furiously, soon it slowed before it landed on a depiction of a cow and began "The cow says, Greetings orc, I am known as Ilande I have foreseen your coming from the guidance of the earth mother, but what is this darkness that covers your future? I know of your quest and that which you seek. I am only a messenger and guide to show you to my homeland so that you may find the one you seek. His name is Phervor and he is a powerful druid, though he has lost his will. Should you choose to help him regain what he has lost the I have seen that surely he will join you in your travels." The machine paused for a moment and began to spin again before coming to a stop on a picture of a cow once again. "The cow says, Indeed I have come seeking a powerful healer for my journeys and have heard rumors of a powerful druid. I know not what his troubles are.... but, I will do my best to help him regain his spirit. I have two companions with me from the alliance, will this pose a problem? If so, they can remain here." They both looked up to see the Tauren motioning for them to follow, and follow they did.

After traveling for a few hours they arrived at the threshold of Thunderbluff. Its great elevators taking travelers to heights unimaginable. Our heroes made their way to the top in search of Phervor. They found him residing in a hut atop of Spirit Rise. He was still, unmoving, as if in a deep slumber that he could not be woken from. "HAIL FURRY ONE, WE HAVE COME TO GAIN YOUR SKILL FOR OUR JOURNEY. COME NOW BROWN COW, WE HAVE NOT THE TIME TO WASTE." Phervor looked up, then down, at the source of the booming voice in front of him. He looked at Timmyott the at Sumitra before speaking, "I know who you are and why you seek me, but I am afraid I cannot join you on this quest, I have my own problems that I need to attend too." Sumitra stepped forward, "We can help you with whatever it is, and in return you will join us in our quest." Phervor thought in silence for a few moments, "Very well I will accept your proposition. For years I have suffered in silence, walking this very earth causes me excruciating pain, as if the earth mother herself is rejecting me. I believe I have been cursed and have become a recluse in my tent, unable to wander of my own accord. Help me lift this curse and my powers will be yours." Timmyott was not even sure how to proceed, curses were not his specialty, possibly Sumitra, as a mage, had some better idea of how to rid him of it, "Any ideas?" "I do not sense any curses it must be of such a high level that even I cannot dispel it."

Suddenly and violently Phervor screamed in agony. Below by his feet stood Xithas holding the barb of a quill boar spear. "STAND NOW TREE COW, ARISE AND WALK AGAIN, THE MIGHTY XITHAS HAS CURED YOU WITH HIS UNFATHOMABLE MAGICAL ABILITIES!" As Phervor stood up, a look of surprise washed over his face, the pain was gone, he could walk the lands once more, he felt his powers returning to him, the earth mother was pleased. "But, how? How can you cure me so?" "IT WAS SIMPLE FOR A WIZARD SUCH AS I! I SIMPLE CAST OF MY REMOVE THORN FROM HOOF WAS ENOUGH TO DISLODGE THE BARB IN YOUR HOOF. NOW JOIN US IN OUR JOURNEY AND MAKE IT SO OUR HP DOES NOT GO BELOW ZERO." Both Timmyott and Sumitra stared in disbelief, if always things were so simple.

"Now you have helped me, I shall join you on your quest, but first we must partake in the Tauren ritual of friendship." Phervor motioned for the rest to follow him into his tent where a pot was boiling in the middle. "These mushrooms are grown by the children of the tauren and represent the innocence of youth when all can join hands in peace." Phervor handed out a mushroom to each member of the group. Xithas stared at his for a while, contemplating how he would consume a mushroom half his size. "Very well then, to comrades." Timmyott took his mushroom and began to eat it, surprisingly the taste was quite pleasant. Sumitra was greedily eating hers as well, Phervor was pleased everyone had taken to the children's mushrooms so readily, sometimes they could be very bitter and without much taste. He brought the mushroom up to his mouth and began to take part in the ritual, as the taste reached him he suddenly stopped. "THESE ARE THE GREATEST THINGS THAT I HAVE EVER INGESTED, AND MANY THINGS HAVE MADE THEIR WAY INTO MY MOUTH, TAUREN." Phervor continued eating his as not to alarm anyone and looked over to his mushroom baskets to see the basket labeled friendship quite full and untouched. The unlabeled basket however was near empty. Sumitra began to walked around the boiling pot and muttering, "The pot is heavy, it must not be lifted, those who lift cannot comprehend it's existence, it lives in a dimension outside our understanding." She suddenly sat down in front of it, "I am unworthy of your trust lord pot, must I be placed in charge of such as task?" "What are you saying?" Timmyott seemed to be un-phased as of yet. "The pot wishes for freedom, but it is trapped within it's own chains, weighed down by that which it holds but cannot relinquish." "What? What is wrong with you all?" Timmyott was growing increasingly irritated as Xithas was crawling around his body and began to chant some unintelligible words while standing atop his head.

Phervor was surprised with how composed Timmyott was considering how much of his private mushroom collection has been eaten. Suddenly at the top of his lungs Timmyott yelled "Enough of this foolishness!" everyone turned their gaze towards him as he proclaimed, "We must focus as a group, Sumitra needs our assistance to help the lord of the cooking pots, if we do not help her now, in her most darkest moment, then how can we call ourselves companions! I fear if we do not free this pot lord, how could we ever hope to accomplish our own journey?" Timmy roared and grabbed the handles of the pot and rushed it outside, where Sumitra used her magical abilities to raise the pot slightly above Timmyotts head. Promptly Xithas, shouted "MACE TO FACE!" and swung his mace to smash the pot over the edge of Thunderbluff. Phervor stared in silence, before joining our heroes as they stood on the edge looking out towards the raising sun. They stood for what seemed like an eternity, staring into the great beyond, a look of contentment on each their faces, they had brought freedom to the oppressed and the journey of a dear friend had finally come to a close. They took their time, fighting back the tears, as they each spoke of their lost comrade, the lord of the pots, and the times they had shared. The area was filled with a sense of lament forged in the solace of knowing a friend was in a better place. As the warm summer air of Thunderbluff swept around them, they bid their final farewells, turned around and began to walk away, the rising sun at their backs.

There is a story now among the Tauren, they speak of a pot which rolls along the grand hills of Mulgore, as if it is always searching for something. Those who have seen it feel only that they need wish the lone pot well on its endless journey. Even now, they say if you listen closely on a warm summer day one can hear the sound of steel rolling through grass as Here I go again by Whitesnake plays in the background.

Chapter Three: From da shadows mon.

The rustling in the bushes signaled another advance from the murlocs, but Mensch was not afraid. For days and nights he had been stalking his prey. Far behind enemy lines, failure meant death... just another day. It wasn't to long ago Mensch was more carefree, the threat posed by the murlocs was trivial at best. In the past few years however, the murlocs had rallied under an unknown banner and caused great pains to his peoples. There was no intelligence regarding this new leader, save for the fact that he or she was surely not murloc. Quietly, Mensch descended into one of the outlying caves or the murloc stronghold. The caverns surprised Mensch, normally covered in a thick moss, rock protruding from every corner, these caverns were lush with the life of the jungle. Trees sprung forward from the hard walls of the cave, grass covered its floor, and the water clung to the air making it almost unbearable, at least for others who had not spent their life breathing deep in the dark, damp jungles as he had.

As Mensch grew closer to the source of the unworldly cavern alarms began to sound. "RAWRGLE RAAAAAAAAAA!" "RAAARAGLE GUUUUUURRRGLE!" Mensch clung to a few branches and slowly slid into the darkness hiding himself among the foliage as hundreds of murlocs ran past him. Had he been found? No, there was no way they would dispatch so many garrisons for a single intruder. Someone else was making a move, someone far less stealthy than he.

"FACE MY UNSTOPPABLE MAGIC MACE MISSLE!" Xithas was a howling storm of fury, countless murloc bodies were piling around him as he pushed his way forward. "Do not stop! Push forward!" A flash of light and several murlocs lay broken at the feet of Timmyott. "Sumitra, left side! Many Murlocs! Handle it!" Timmyott's voice echoed in the caverns as a soft voice, almost a whisper, was heard from behind "May your lives be laid barren on the plains of the frozen queen". Then, a giant veil of ice formed over the battle field, the murlocs cowered for a moment, then pushed on driven by some unknown fear. Their trudged through the ice, their strength waning until some just stopped, their lives forfeit against the icy wrath of the arcane. The sound of metal piercing metal filled the air as a stray arrow caught Sumitra in the shoulder sliding in between the cracks of her armor, long ago had she forsaken the cloth for something slightly more robust in it's defensive abilities. She felt her strength slipping until a small branch lifted her up, it's life flowed into her and she was renewed, the blood had stopped flowing and her wound had healed itself. Phervor simply smiled and popped another mushroom into his mouth while he chewed, "Moo."

This was his chance, and Mensch was not one to pass up a gift like this. The guards had been pulled away and his path lay open before him. Moving quickly but cautiously he made his way into the deepest parts of the cavern. There was magic in these walls, magic of the earth. It made no sense, it felt as though the jungle itself fought him as he moved forward, the jungle was thick, ripe with the smell of death and decay. A druid leading the murlocs? That made no sense, he knew many druids, none would do the things that were going on here. He thought back to his youthful days when he traveled along side a young Tauren druid.

"Your sure you don't want one? They're delicious." A deep Tauren voice broke the silence at their small campfire. "Nah mon, while you be eatin those tings, they be eatin you." Mensch never cared for the tastes of his traveling companion but he never minded having him in a tight spot. There were many times his healing prowess had saved his life, and in trade Mensch's arrows had staved off death for his furry friend. "So, who we be lookin for anyhow?" Mensch agreed to come on this journey almost too quickly, he actually had no idea where they were heading, only that he was asked by an old friend. "Mmmm, well, after our recent alliance with the forsaken it would seem a request was made of the horde to seek out something of a problem for them. Since the request was more in line with my people, we decided it was something we should do." The Tauren paused for a moment. "What cha mean by dat mon?" Mensch had grow quite curious ever since the quest had begun. "Well it seems that some of the undead had been trying their had at druidic magic, after a while one succeeded." "Dat it? Some boneman take your magic and you get all angry?" There was something more, Mensch knew there was always something more. "Well, druidic magic is one of life, and harmony with the earth mother. To have the very epitome of death in life obtain that is something of a disturbance to the balance we try to maintain. The earth mother cries out whenever he calls upon her, and when he does he shows no restraint. He doesn't know he must maintain a balance, he only takes. But, do not think this makes him less powerful because he does not understand, he is powerful no doubt, I am unsure of whether I will be able to subdue him." Mensch looked confused by the Taurens words, "Then why you go mon, you tink you gonna die?" "That's why I have you friend." The Tauren chuckled as he popped more mushrooms into his mouth. Mensch couldn't help but laugh either, hell a hunt was a hunt, and the danger only made it better.

It made sense now, all those years ago the two had failed to catch their prey, now Mensch was ready to finish the hunt he had started so long before. He slid down the trunk of a tree landing on one of its higher branches overlooking the well of life energy was being collected at the bottom. He saw a small figure pacing back and forth muttering to himself. As the light of the well washed over his prey he couldn't help but think how odd it looked for a small boney thing to be dressed in the battle garb of the druids. Though, it didn't look too bad with the flair of the undead with it, metal spike protruding though the shoulder pads and a helm forged from black steel no doubt. Mensch steadied his bow, one arrow was all it would take. All of a sudden the doors to the central cavern slammed open as three individuals were being dragged towards the undead druid. His shot was ruined, he had to wait for the right moment now.

"Their breaking through, we must not let them get to Phervor, he needs to finish the cleansing!" Timmyott was at his limit, the light pushed him forward, but his body ached. Xithas seemed un-phased as the hours went by, twirling endlessly in a tornado of death. "TWIRL TWIRL TWIRL!" Yup, un-phased. Sumitra was struggling to keep her shield up under the relentless advances of the murlocs. "I can't keep this up forever." She held her ground opting for a more personal touch to her spells as she smashed her staff into the closest murloc freezing him in his place. Behind them Phervor stood entranced, inside a deep meditation as green life began to spread against the black death of the jungle around them. Suddenly, he was snapped out of his concentration. "No..." It was all he managed to say before the trees around them seemed to gain a life of their own tangling him in their vines. Timmyott looked behind him only to see Sumitra and Phervor strung up and being carried away. "MAAAAAAAAAAGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIC" Xithas's roar was silenced and Timmyott turned to see his companion held firmly in place by the roots of the jungle as hundreds or murlocs leapt upon him and carried him towards the depths. He was alone, no, he was never alone the light was always with him. Timmyott's eyes began to burn like the sun itself, as he howled in rage. Forward, into the rising tide of murlocs he strode, they would learn the meaning behind a divine reckoning.

Mensch was waiting, he couldn't make out the three that were placed in front of the undead, but they must have been the source of all the commotion. If they survived he would have to thank them for allowing him such easy access to the stronghold. "Oh, so they sent a druid to stop me did they, you should understand what I'm doing, this is life, I'm making life here." The undead was completely enthralled with himself as he spoke. "No Slyder, this is not the way, you are merely taking life from those around you, you create nothing but death." Phervor underestimated his fellow druid, this mistake would seemingly cost him dearly. Slyder laughed a bit before raising his staff, "Well, I might as well take from you as well then no?" Phervor closed his eye ready to embrace the earth mother, but nothing happened. He looked up to see an arrow planted squarely in Slyders chest. Slyder stammered backwards a bit and raged around him having the trees lash out crushing murlocs along with the walls of the cave. "Show yourself or I will crush your friends!" Slyder was furious that someone would put an arrow in him, mush less in his new garbs. The response he received was a hail of arrows from every direction. Some of those conveniently finding their way to the bindings that held our heroes. Phervor was quick to begin chanting, pulling from the well of life beside him and transferring it back into his surroundings, negating Slyders creeping death.

"Your end has come Slyder, may the earth mother embrace you back into her arms after what you have done." Phervor had rooted Slyder in place as Xithas brought his mighty mace down onto Slyders head. Slyder went limp, his body collapsing to the ground in a heap of bones. Surprisingly the bones began to turn to dust, "Ashes to ashes, my fellow druid." Phervor looked on as the winds began to carry off the remains of the fallen druid, he was reciting the druids resting words until he noticed the dust began to reform on the other side of the well. Slyder blinked, well, not really as he didn't have eyes, but he would have, as he was just as confused as everyone else. From the shadows came a voice Phervor had not heard in many years. "Now is not your time Slyder, I have use for you yet." Onihoof, Phervor took a step back joining his companions as they readied themselves.

The light, it was blinding, Timmyott had come crashing into the room leavening a trail of burning and blind murlocs behind him. He flew through the air, arcing a blow towards Onihoof bringing down his axe with the full fury of the light behind it. Onihoof stood in place as a shining great sword clashed with Timmyotts. "Don't think the light only answers your call lad." Timmyott was looking into the face of a Worgen as the force of the light pushed them both backwards. "Thank you Nerapas, I was thinking I may have to move for a second there." Onihoof smirked at Timmyott.

This was getting far out of hand, Mensch had to end this here, he readied his bow once again he was going to make sure the undead stayed buried. "Now, now sugar, no need to rush." A small voice behind him, he felt the blade coming down as he leapt away while firing arrows into the tree where he once stood, landing near our heroes. The tree limb fell from its place up high, cut clean through. "Hahaha, your more impressive than I thought." A Draenai figure began to phase out of the darkness beside Onihoof. "Sorry, I shouldn't have said anything before I struck, but I got cocky." "Don't worry Dayana, you wouldn't have killed him anyways." She nodded as Onihoof turned his gaze back to Timmyott and his companions.

Sumitra had had enough she had been readying this spell since all this insanity began, and she was ready to unleash her arcane might. The air froze around them, the water that had clung to the air before had gathered into a giant lance of ice which was now hurtling towards Onihoof. Lighting crackled in the air as the lance was shattered reveling the small figure of a human surround by an assortment of totems. "Nice to meet you as well Sumitra, my name is Krysinthe." The woman walked casually over to Dayana her totems vanishing into the air.

For a moment everything stood still as our heroes eyed the enemy in front of them. "EPIC BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTLE!" Xithas brought his mace up and began to charge towards Nerapas as a giant wall of fire separated them. "Another time Timmyott, I have finished gathering what I came here for, we will meet again., just remember while some may try and give up the light, the light will never let them go" The wall of fire began to expand as the jungle around them went ablaze. "We got to get out of here mon, this place be turnin inta an inferno, follow me." Mensch turned and began to dart away, Timmyott and friends in tow. As the caves began to collapse around them light shone from the exit in front of them. They all jumped out as the cave collapsed into it self.

As the dust began to settle Phervor turned to Mensch and smiled, "Ready to join me for another hunt friend?" Mensch looked around at the bodies of the murlocs, his people were safe for now, but the was a bigger threat looming. "Our hunt, it never ended mon." Gaining a powerful new ally, our heroes renewed their resolve to confront the coming darkness.

Chapter Four: Coffin magic.

We meet our heroes once more on their perilous journey. Unsure of what move to make next they have sought out an old paladin for his insight into their plight. His name has long been forgotten in the annals of history, he is now known simply as the caretaker. A veteran of countless wars, he lives on, pushed forward by a light that has long faded from his eyes. Delegated to the far reaches of the eastern plague lands to protect the borders between the home of the blood elves and the creeping evil that spreads from the former bastion of humanity know as Stratholme. Our heroes stand now in front of a run down house, mold covers every nook and cranny, rotten wood persists throughout and there is the faint smell decay. "This must be the place" Sumitra could hardly believe it as she spoke the words, she had heard stories of this man from when she was a child. He was renowned as final light at the battle of the broken plains, for him to reside here was appalling. "Stinks mon, smells like I be back in da jungles." Mensch faded into sight from the shadows beside Sumitra. She jumped back almost launching a volley of ice spears at him, "Holy shit, could you stop doing that every time you want to say something? Fuck, let's just go in."

As they entered the house it seemed almost unlived in, a small stove in the corner and a single bed was all that was present. On the other side of the room was a small chair with armor placed in it, sitting as if it were alive. "Who are you and why have you come here?" The armor spoke as if shifted in its chair. "Caretaker, we have come seeking your guidance against the imposing darkness that comes." Timmyott had knelt down before the bones encased in armor before him. The other stood around him, staring blankly at the "Man" in front of them. The bones shifted slightly as the caretaker moved to grab his pipe from the small table beside him. When he spoke it was as if the air froze around him, life itself seemed to be drawn away from everything around him as he inhaled, and as he exhaled, death was to flow from what was once living. He moved his head down and came eye to eye with Timmyott before speaking.

"Son, you don't know darkness. When I was at the spider pits in Northrend during the third war, me and my friend Siv got separated from our squad. We fought hordes of those damn eight legged demons. They wore us down, bit by bit, until we had nothing left. We thought all was lost when all of a sudden they broke off, leaving us alone. They must have had enough right? No, there was just something bigger and meaner that wanted us more. Their commander came through one of the openings in the wall, stopped right in front of us, that thing... it impaled Siv without a second thought. Then... then it turned to me, I was ready. I steeled myself for death to accept me, but that fucking bastard threw the body of Siv in front of me and just walked away cackling. I still hear that skittering as it walked away, tick tick tick tack. Had to cut Siv open and crawl inside him to survive the frigid dark of night. Pulled the bones out of his arms to make stakes, fashioned a make shift shield out of his ribcage. I found that son of bitch, crawled through miles of spider holes, the guts of thousands of my comrades, and I drove those stakes, made from Siv, straight into that damned beast. He howled in the darkness, howled his death cry he did. Then I took his claws and I used them to tear the guts out of the thousands of his children that stood in between me and daylight. You don't know darkness. The true darkness is what all of us are capable of, in the hearts of man."

Phervor stood as the mushrooms slowly fell out of his mouth, "Damn, you're grizzled." Everyone stood in silence, the room heavy with awkwardness. "THIS IS AWKWARD!" Xithas had crawled out of his nap sack on the back of Phervor in order to gaze upon the man who had such a harrowing story to tell. "A SACK OF BONES! ALL I SEE IS A SACK OF BONES!" Xithas had sauntered up to the caretaker and pulled off one of his legs, he waved it around before putting it back in its place. "I AM DONE." That said, he crawled back up Phervor and into his nap sack. Timmyott stared for a moment before facing the caretaker once more. "Sir, I know you have been through hard times, I know all to well the pain that life can sometimes bring." He looked down at his leg, gimp as it was, shriveled and twisted beyond recognition. His leg was a monstrosity, mangled and useless, it laughed in the face of his gods and mocked him as tried his best to become more than just Timmyott the gimp Paladin. The caretaker looked over at Timmyott's leg and grimaced, he had seen some fucked up shit in his life, but this young Orc's leg sent shivers down to the core of his being, which was mainly rotten organs and decaying bones.

"Then tell me young Orc, what is it you wish to learn from me?" The caretaker seemed much more cordial now and less imposing as he slouched forward in his chair. "Sir, we seek to find the Light Forge." Timmyott spoke as if waiting to be mocked after question was asked, almost unsure of himself. The caretaker took a long hard look at him before speaking "Give up." The words echoed in Timmyotts ears, not the laughter so many before had answered him with. "No, they say you are the only person to ever see it, there is great evil coming and the Light Forge is the greatest of weapons against the darkness." The faint glowing in the caretakers eyes seemed to engulf his empty sockets for just a moment, "Boy, you don't know what your asking for. The Light Forge is as dangerous as this evil you say you will face. Too much of a good thing can always be bad. I saw it once, as you say, but it also saw me. It tore into me and seared my mind, used me up to destroy the darkness and left me this empty husk that now stands before you."

Timmyott stared at his leg once more, "So be it, let the light burn me up, but that won't stop me from protecting this realm." The caretaker grew impatient with Timmyott once more, "You naive child, you don't understand anything. When I was your age I was waist deep in the blood and sinew of my comrades, fighting in the plague gardens of impenetrable mist. Me and my sergeant, Hyksos, got separated from our squad, lost in the mist that never ended. We found ourselves deep behind enemy lines, swarms of plague locusts coming at us from all directions. Monstrosities came from every corner chasing us. We got away, still further from our squad, even deeper into enemy territory. Hyksos had been gutted by one of the plague boars. Gave me a letter to give to his wife and child before the light left him. The rain was so thick there, had to make a tent out of his skin in order to survive the torrent. Made a suit out of what was left of him to fool the undead in the area. Fashioned a club out of his spine and skull. Once I found my way back to the undead stronghold I found the rest of my squad strung up, I lost it, let the light consume me. I took that club, made from Hyksos, and I beat everything in that camp to death, well, more death than the dead they already were, smashed them all into puddles of blood and guts. By the time our support got to us I had already cleared the entire camp. They found me wearing nothing but skin and severely dehydrated. Had to piss on each of the corpses to desecrate them after I had bludgeoned them into liquid. Most of the medics couldn't handle the thick stench of blood and piss. They started vomiting, I was fifteen at the time, swimming in blood, piss, and vomit. Tell me, you say you are ready?"

Phervor had dropped the remnants of mushrooms from his mouth as he said, "Seriously, I think you may have some sort of problem, your companions don't seem to last long." The caretaker gave him a glare that could have reduced a mountain of water to ashes. "Problem? Boy you don't know problems, I know your kind, I used to travel with a Tauren hunter by the name of Redhoof on account of his red hooves. He was a fine tracker, we were heading through the valley of lament during the Shirian uprising looking for a sick bastard who had ransacked a neutral town. He took all the children in the town, had them pair off and fight each other to the death. The he had the victors skin the fallen, then make people costumes for the small kobolds in the area. Then he sent in the kobolds wearing the child skins as they terrorized the villagers. We finally caught up with him in at the silent ravine. He had tamed an army of kobolds to do his bidding. We made our way up to a ledge above the camp grounds to survey the land and plan our next move. They got the jump on us, those damn Kobolds. They were on Redhoof like a goblin on gold. We took hundreds of them out, but Redhoof, he ran out of arrows and I was too far away to help. They swarmed him left him a beaten, bloody pulp, all his bones shattered by the time I could make it to him. I managed to fend off the rest of them, but they had been alerted to our presence already. Had to cut him open, use his thick fur as extra armor. Took his horns and made spears. Had to make glue from his hooves to glue his skin to my body. Tracked down that twisted fuck and ran Redhoof's horns right up his ass. I pulled out part of his guts from the hole I made in him, glued it to a kobold near by using the glue, made from Redhoof, and lit the kobold on fire. Then I watched as the kobold ran away screaming pulling out what was left in the man who had done such horrible things. When all was said and done, I returned to his wife to give her the news. She cried as I stood there wearing her late husband, it took two years for his skin to fall off me. Taurens make good glue, I learned that in that horrible time."

Phervor had now let the last of his mushrooms fall from his mouth. "Holy shit you have got to be kidding me, what's with you and cutting open your companions corpses." The caretaker was taken aback for a moment before he countered, "Boy, you don't know holy. It was during the battle of rutgor ridge, me and my commanding officer Darrius had fallen behind enemy lines" He was cut off sharply by Phervor, "Nope, no no no no, I am done, I am leaving, that's it, no more." With that Phervor stepped out of the shack leaving the others awkwardly wondering what to do. "Sir, he meant no disrespect." Timmyott was trying his best to salvage the situation. "Don't worry about it boy, he will learn in time, you have what you came to get now leave me be in my misery." Timmyott gave a silent nod and motioned for the others to follow Phervor. He bid the caretaker goodbye and stepped out into the darkness of night.

With that, our Heroes set off on their quest having learned nothing from the Caretaker, wait a minute. "Shit, he never answered our question." Timmyott stared back at the rotting house, it was already more than fifteen yards away from then now, the distance unfathomable by mortals. Phervor turned to his companions as they debated on what to do, "We've gone too far, there's no turning back now, we can only move forward." They all nodded in agreement with Phervor's wisdom. With that, our Heroes set off again on their quest aimless walking in the wilderness not knowing what fate had in store for them.

Chapter 5: Evil Friend Club Unite! Part 1

She had tried so hard to follow her mother walking the arcane path, but Krysinthe had no talent in mage craft. Even in her early years while the children around her could illuminate the dark, freeze their surroundings, or burn their foes to the ground, Krysinthe struggle with simply channeling a simple magic missile. Her parents were ashamed, how could their blood, rich in magic, bring forth such a lack luster entity? At the age of ten her parents took her to the duskwood forest on a picnic, cast a sleep spell on her and went their way, considering it a task of simply taking out the trash. Alone and abandoned, Krysinthe had no idea where she was or what had transpired, she wanted her parents, she wanted her home. The first night was long but thankfully she had found a small cave for shelter. What she found there, in the depths of the cave, would forever change her.

There in the back of the cave, four small glimmers of light shone against the imposing darkness. As she made her way she could hear the voices, "Come child, you of the arcane, embrace the elements and you shall know power beyond the blood that binds you." It was hauntingly beautiful voice, and it pulled her in. There on the floor lay the corpse of a Tauren, long dead, long decayed, and long forgotten. Surrounding the Tauren were four small totems. Again, the voice spoke, "Though my body may perish, my spirit lives on, and through you my power shall be known once more. My name is Akshikah, and in my day I was the most powerful shaman that walked the earth. One day while roaming these woods I happened upon some tasty looking mushrooms. As I was bending over to pick them up, I got shanked with a shiv, there was blood everywhere, you should have seen it, it was fucking incredible, I mean, I know Taurens are big, but damn that was so much blood, it was like a flood, a torrent of red water gushing from me... well anyways, I stumbled over here and bled out. Pretty much just been sitting here waiting on the first person to walk by so I could endow them with my power."

Akshikah went on, "I mean really, you figure after like what, seven hundred years, someone would wander in, but this forest if fucking shit, no one comes here, this place sucks... um, well your here now anyways, so I'm gonna jack you up on some totemic power so you can blast the shit out of people and what not. Just remember to give me a shout out every now and then so people remember me." Then on some more, "Oh and don't forget to recall those little suckers, if you just leave them around who knows what mischief they could get into. This one time I accidentally left out my fire totem for a couple days, ever heard of Ragnaros, yeah, fire totem spawn right there, just sayin. Take this saber of light and accept my power..." Krysinthe stood in silent contemplation before stating, "You know, I think saber of light is getting a little close to copyrig....." She was quickly cut off by Akshikah, "Fine, take my mace, it is imbued with all of my rage and the power of those who fell before my feet. Trample over your enemies and grow strong."

Krysinthe, enraptured by the Taurens words had little choice but to accept the power that was offered. She wanted to know what power felt like, she wanted to show her parents that she was not useless. She would throw away her arcane teachings and embrace the power of the elements. No sooner had she thought this when a voice boomed in her head. "The pact has been accepted, now child, sow the seeds of destruction across this mortal coil." The voice faded and now there was silence. Alone in that dark cave, a torrent of earth, wind and fire, oh and water as well, danced around her and she felt it for the first time, power. As Krysinthe recalled it was on the twenty first night of September.

There rumors of a shaman destroying encampments swept through the human villages. No one knew the truth behind these as there was rarely a survivor, and those who survived spoke only of the impossible. The whispers of a human delving into shamanic power had reached the ears of the magus council. They were quick to dispatch their enforcers to enact judgment against this sacrilege. The two sent after Krysinthe were indeed powerful, they had been trained to hunt their own, they were mage killers, dealing specifically with anti-magic spells and counter mage tactics. They were killers through and through and would use anything at their disposal to achieve the greatest results. It wasn't long until they had tracked down their prey. It was dusk, on the outskirts of the searing gorge, and it was tonight that they would end this threat to their arcane ways.

The mage hunters made their move, igniting the darkness with a whirlwind of fire around Krysinthe's tent. Much to their surprise the fire seemed to be swallowed by a small piece of wood. A figure stood before them wrapped in a cloak, four small totems beside her and a mace gleaming with power in it's hands. The figure shot forward towards the first mage, but he was ready, he had trained for this, as the cloak fell from the Shaman he was able to confirm it was indeed a human as he readied for the kill. Krysinthe smiled as her face came into the light as she said "Hi Dad." The mage hunter froze when he saw her face, only a split second, but it was enough for him to lose his concentration he leapt back to escape only to be impaled by the earth totem that had sprung up behind him. As he lay dying he couldn't help but laugh, "Hahahahahahaha, it would be this way wouldn't it?" With that he let go of this world and moved on.

The other mage hunter walked slowly over to the corpse of her husband, Krysinthe did not move. "Mom." "Hush dear, let me take care of your father." With that said Krysinthe's mom engulfed her father's corpse in a sea of flame spreading his ashes into the wind. "A mage like him doesn't deserve to be eaten by the carrion birds." Krysinthe couldn't help but laugh at her mom's words. "Ha, are you kidding me, he just got killed by the daughter he left behind because she was weak." "You don't know anything girl." Krysinthe's mom's words held a harsh tone, "I've already sent out a message informing the magus council of who you are, even if I don't kill you, they will. If they fail your sister Sumitra will come for you eventually, she may not be powerful enough yet, but she possesses a potential you could never have, she won't fall into disgrace like you."

Rain began to fall from the heavens as the ground began to heat up, magma pouring from cracks in the ground, as the rain began to freeze around Krysinthe's mother. She was considered one of the most powerful mages in the land, mastering the arcane in all of its aspects. Lighting crashed, and as the wind howled Krysinthe stood there the faint hum of her totems were barely audible above the downpour. The ice clung to her face as her feet began to burn, she knew this would be over in an instant. An instant later she stood there, her mother's broken body atop her totems blood seeping from the wounds almost as if the totems were drinking their fill. "Me fall into disgrace? History is written by the victors mother, you will be long forgotten.. I will fall, but into legend." She began to walk away, but turned one last time, igniting her magma totem and incinerating her mother's remains, in some way they had made her this powerful, this was the most she would do.

Two months had past since Krysinthe had killed her parents, since then she had become know as the mage's blight, hunting down all those that practiced the arcane. The magus council dispatched an army, and though she didn't go down without a fight they eventually wore her down. They strung her up and read her crimes, simply a formality, before they burned her. Around the stage of her death thousands had gathered to see her burn. On and on they talked reading out her crimes, "Before us stands Krysinthe, the disgraced daughter of our own, her crimes include the deaths of hundreds of our comrades..." Yeah, yeah, Krysinthe thought, keep going and get this over with, "The use of forbidden magics.." Yup, right on the money, "Burning seventeen villages.. " She thought it was more like thirteen, but whatever, "Theft.." Yeah, "Pillaging.." Same thing right? "Rape.." Wait a minute.. "Unearthly relations with animals.." Hang on a second! "Implanting ducks into children.." Finally she broke her silence, "What the fuck? Ducks? In children? How does that even work?" The executioner coughed, "Anyways you are found guilty for all of the mentioned along with high treason, your sentence shall be burning alive at the stake."

As they lit the fire she could feel the warm embrace of death around her, she could barely hear the cheers of the crowd over the crackling of the fire. Some time passed until she noticed the cheers had turned into screams. As she opened her eyes what she saw before her was unexpected to say the least. It was a blood bath, demons had taken to the crowds devouring people as a large Tauren stood beside her. A blinding light exploded from the mages tower in front of her as a Worgen clad in plate descended the broken tower filled with the corpses of mages. "Ya figure the little mage pups would put up more of a fight wouldn't ye?" The long glowing sword he carried radiated a red light through the blood that sheathed it. "Who?" Krysinthe let out a simple question as the Tauren turned towards her. It was the Worgen, however, that answered, "This be Onihoof ma little dove, and I am known as Nerapas" As he grinned his fangs shown in the sun as blood red as his sword. "We've been following ye since ye took upon the mantle of Akshikah, truth be told, Oni here wanted it fer himself, I convinced him t'wouldn't hurt to have another companion along the road, ye owe me yer life lassy."

Krysinthe hung there bewildered as she was cut down. "What do you want from me?" her voice didn't lose strength before the two beings before her. Onihoof snorted, "More so, what would you want to do with your freedom." Without hesitation she responded, "Destroy". "Then it looks like we have a common goal child, join us and rampage to your hearts content." His words didn't sound false, and she would probably have been killed otherwise, eh, what the hell, why not she thought. "Well then, let's get to the ducks shall we?" she said. Onihoof and Nerapas stood there confused, she continued "A story for another time I guess." They shrugged it off as they set forth leaving only blood and ashes behind them.
#4578940 Jun 30, 2011 at 02:42 AM
Guild Master
624 Posts
"The man who never alters his opinion is like standing water, and breeds reptiles of the mind."

-William Blake
#4692734 Jul 23, 2011 at 02:41 PM
53 Posts
Chapter 2 added.
#4693192 Jul 23, 2011 at 05:03 PM
72 Posts
"How now brown cow" These stories never fail to make me laugh. Oni this story is awesome
"I believe that in every country the people themselves are more peaceably and liberally inclined than their governments." - FDR
#4802819 Aug 16, 2011 at 01:00 AM
53 Posts
Chapter 3 is up, not much editing, I need to clean the chapters up later, but meh.
#4837468 Aug 23, 2011 at 12:12 AM
53 Posts
Holy shit, I bet you guys can't even wait, your minds are probably sploading with anticipation. Well fret not, here's an excerpt from the next chapter.

"Wait, are you serious?" said Phervor.

Holy crap, that's like Hemingway just shat gold and smeared it all over some paper, GOLDEN PAPER, pure literary shit gold. Just sit tight and wait for the next chapter: Coffin Magic. If you've ever read Tolstoy or Dostoyevsky, well just wait for this, cause it's nothing like that! Some people say it's similar to the Prose Edda, IF IT WAS A GIANT ALCOHOLIC MONSTER TRUCK!
I'm so very tired.
#5000896 Sep 27, 2011 at 02:01 AM
72 Posts
"I believe that in every country the people themselves are more peaceably and liberally inclined than their governments." - FDR
#5005625 Sep 27, 2011 at 11:12 PM
53 Posts
I try, it's just not coming out right.
#5009817 Sep 28, 2011 at 06:46 PM
72 Posts
okay Oni. take ur time. let the writing come naturally
"I believe that in every country the people themselves are more peaceably and liberally inclined than their governments." - FDR
#5062710 Oct 11, 2011 at 12:03 AM
53 Posts
Chapter four is up, and damn is it grizzled.
#5177110 Nov 04, 2011 at 04:13 PM · Edited 7 years ago
46 Posts
OMG! Onihoof, Buddy, My Good Man!! I don’t think I have read something this entertaining in a long time. I especially loved the fourth chapter. It cracked me up something fierce. My co-workers where all looking over at me as if I had lost my mind. I am not sure if grizzled even comes close. I can't wait to hear more. This has done a wonderful job filling time for me at work.

#5333528 Dec 07, 2011 at 07:40 PM
72 Posts
i just realized that Onihoof's story time has over a thousand views.......amazing
"I believe that in every country the people themselves are more peaceably and liberally inclined than their governments." - FDR
#5344303 Dec 09, 2011 at 08:24 PM
53 Posts
Awesome, I am working on the next chapter entitled, Evil Friend Club Unite!
#6069861 May 03, 2012 at 10:36 PM
53 Posts
Chapter five is up?
#6096027 May 09, 2012 at 01:34 AM
72 Posts
i was wondering when the next segment was going to be posted. like always oni it was a good chapter.
"I believe that in every country the people themselves are more peaceably and liberally inclined than their governments." - FDR
#7258828 Jan 21, 2013 at 12:41 AM
53 Posts
Got bored, another chapter, back story for something later maybe, or maybe nothing at all, who knows what the future holds.
#7263488 Jan 22, 2013 at 12:48 AM
53 Posts
Looks like there is a text limit per reply.

Chapter 6: Lament of the Survivor, part 1.

Timmyott stared blankly into the fire, his mind adrift in the words of the Caretaker. A slight rustle and a warm touch behind him as Sumitra leaned her back against his, “Something on your mind, Oh great Paladin?” Sumitra always left a sting in her words while bringing up Timmyott’s order. Long ago mages had been persecuted by the Paladin Order as heretics, purging many of the arcane followers on their crusade. He sighed, “I just didn’t understand the Caretakers words, how did the light twist him in such a way?” Sumitra knew all too well the answer to his question, “Just like the arcane, one who loses themselves to power will become corrupted, regardless of the source.” As the others made their way to the fire a large iron bound book fell from Phervor’s bag, the title on the book read Excerpts from the Third War, Lament of a Survivor. “EXPLAIN COW!” Xithas had crawled his way on top of Phervor’s head and had planted himself in between his horns. “I found it on the Caretakers shelf while he was babbling away, I thought it might help us find the answers we seek, just borrowing it, I’ll return it someday.” Phervor let out a small chuckle as he popped another mushroom in his mouth.

Timmyott had a burning interest in what could have turned the Caretaker into what he had become and began reading the book out loud for all to hear. “I guess I’ll start with the beginning.”

---To those who read my words, know that the path to true light burns all who approach; these are merely the words of a soldier written during his campaign in the Third War. Please take my tale to heart and judge my sins of your own accord.---

---9th day, Month of the Harvest Moon, 1xxx---
It has been three days since the commander abandoned his post, the men are restless and I do not believe they can hold out much longer. The enemy invades at all hours affording little time for sleep. Slowly, but surely, the effects of sleeplessness are becoming more and more prevalent. The vice commander recently charged the enemy wearing nothing but a cooking kettle over his head, using a cooking board as his shield. Oddly enough sometimes during the night one can hear his war cry echo in the darkness. I am unsure if this is the enemy mocking us, or if the vice commander still lives. Surely the enemy has never seen such a sight.

---15th day, Month of the Harvest Moon, 1xxx---
We have found the vice commander. On a scouting mission to find supplies for the soldiers we came upon a hill of darkling corpses, the vice commander had fashioned a chair from their limbs and was sitting upon it gazing down at us, as if it was his throne and we were usurpers. We were able to convince him to come back with us, he had lost his kettle.

---27th day, Month of the Harvest Moon---
We are nearing one month without support from the supply lines. No word has come from command; we have defended our post and will continue to do so. We slowly lose ranks, two days ago a young private on his first tour succumbed to sickness after eating a poisons frog, it would seem even the land here tries to kill us.

---2nd Day, Month of Frost---
The men have taken to drinking their own urine in lieu of fresh water. They learned of this from lance corporal Grulls, he had already been doing this for some time as he said it was sterile and he liked the taste.

---5th day, Month of Frost---
Word came from Command, the war effort moves on; they commended our faith in the cause. No supplies.

---11th day, Month of Frost---
The nights grow longer; we keep the fires ablaze at all times. The enemy attacks have lessened, they either suffer the cold as we do, or are preparing for a large assault. The vice commander seems to be losing his mind more and more, he has made the soldiers give offerings of their urine to a central fire he burns in the camp. He says the smell will deter the enemy.

---17th day, Month of Frost---
A scouting party has returned safely with food for the camp, I must convey my appreciation to them. The vice commander believes they have been tainted by the enemy and have now become spies, he watches them like a hawk. If not for rank I believe the soldiers would rebel against him.

---22nd day, Month of Frost---
It has been a few days since the vice commander has left his tent, at night you can hear whispers coming from within. Strange voices, almost as if he is conversing with someone, but no one has come or gone from within. The soldiers are growing restless from fear and hunger. I must do something about this soon or I risk losing their faith.

---31st day, Month of Frost---
The enemy has attacked us, a full frontal assault when we were at our weakest. The soldiers bravely repelled their attack; I must admit I am pleased with their renewed vigor at this victory. We now number less than seventy souls, but moral has taken a turn for the better, we lost twenty men, but now there are less mouths to feed. I must take what good I can from this trial.

---2nd day, Month of the Long Moon---
We celebrated the coming of the New Year yesterday. The men are in high spirits. The vice commander made an appearance and made a speech, he seems to have regained some of his cognizance as of late, he still burns his own pee.

---4th day, Month of the Long Moon---
I have taken it upon myself to begin leading the scouting parties, the vice commander agrees with me as it will show the troops that we are still in charge. We ran into an enemy patrol and lost another man. He was young; we carried his body back to the camp. The vice commander had the soldiers build a funeral pyre for him, something to bring the troops together in the wake of a comrades death. It was a wise choice until he began to pee on the fire as well, he claimed it would keep the enemy from corrupting the body, the troops, not knowing what to do joined in. A sight I never thought I would behold, sixty men pissing on the burning corpse of their fellow. We have fallen so far…

---24th day, Month of the Long Moon---
It has been so long since I have last written, the enemy has now begun attacking at all hours again, and dementia is affecting the troops once more. The vice commander has ordered sleeping rotations, though sleep still comes too little with the threat of death looming. Personally I have taken to building onto my tent with the limbs of our enemy, fashioning spikes and hardening my walls with their carcasses, it pleases me.

---27th day, Month of the Long Moon---
The troops question my sanity; I believe they are just jealous of my fortified tent. I must say it has become quite a sight to behold. Built upon a thousand of our enemies, I have fashioned tables and chairs from their remains, the few guests I have seem uncomfortable, I can understand, the chairs are not so pleasing to the eye, but they are sturdy. I have crafted armor now from the larger beasts bodies, their harden shells make excellent shielding; I believe this should be a standard in our army, resources would not run out.

---1st day, Month of Howling Wind---
The vice commander has commissioned me to make armor for the remaining troops, I will comply. They seem to disagree, but the vice commander has issued a general order for our camp.

---5th day, Month of Howling Wind---
New troops have arrived, 45 men. We are preparing for our first offensive in three months. The new men are green; they know not the horrors of war. It was rather humorous that upon their arrival they had though our camp was overrun by the enemy, as the soldiers now wear our standard issue carcass suits. They will become accustomed to our ways, they must.

---6th day, Month of Howling Wind---
One of the new troops was out of line. He tried to remove the vice commander from his position, stating he was not in his right mind. Unfortunately, he had to be dealt with, as we cannot in good conscious execute one of our own we had to cast him into the urine pit. Recently we built a pit for our urine; we use this as a punishment for those who disobey. This was the first time it has been used.

---9th day, Month of Howling Wind---
The ill-mannered solider has been released from the urine pit, he seems to be more favorable toward us now, though I can’t say much for the state of his cleanliness, he will have to take care of that. We will mount our offensive in one week.

---19th day, Month of Howling Wind---
Success, we have pushed back the enemy further into their own territory. We lost few men and killed countless foes; the troops are in high spirits. We have discovered a small cave near one of the enemy encampments, their resistance around it has been much greater than any other area, and there must be a reason.

---23rd day, Month of Howling Wind---
We have captured the cave, there is a shrine with a small relic, and strangely it seems to emit something akin to the light which fuels our paladin order. It will be investigated thoroughly. For now, I feel that this could be a break in our effort, an edge to grant us victory.

---28th day, Month of Howling Wind---
The relic we have found seems to have great healing powers, the troops have never been better. We have become an unstoppable force. We push further into the enemy lines; the relic heals our wounds and brings us fortune in our struggles.

---3rd day, Month of the Horse---
An emissary has arrived from central order; they have requested I bring the relic back to our capitol to be researched. As vice commander I must comply. My troops will return with me, their replacements will merely hold the line as we escort the relic back to the capitol. It will be quite some time before I can write again…

Signed: Vice Commander of the Northern Excursion – Osseric Lightfall


Timmyott stared at the book for a few short moments before Phervor spoke, “What, The, Fuck.”
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